Ask A Witch – July 2018

I want to use a protection spell against an abuser but people say I shouldn’t. What’s the deal?

Jess Carlson


ife is complicated, even for a witch. It’s easy to think that magickal and spiritual people somehow have a secret key to unlocking a comfortable life, but we don’t. We deal with all the same stresses and life problems that anyone else does. What we hope is that our magick can serve as a tool to make these things a bit easier in troubling times.

The truth is, sometimes magick can make things more complicated! Check out this month’s question from a reader about doing protection work.

I am being given very conflicted advice. I am a spiritual person—tarot, mediumship, the lot. I live with a good heart. I do however have a narcissist father—and I’m currently looking for a protection spell. I clearly only want to protect myself and my family. It’s incredibly damaging when he rages and anxiety is what I get filled and left with. I desperately want to stop this. I know I am unable to discuss or fight my corner with this personality type.

Some speak to warn me against any of this. Saying I need to come with love. I don’t have much left for him. I am at a point of protection only.

Where do you stand on this?

Since you’ve asked specifically about where I stand on this, here it is:

If you feel you need to use your magick to protect yourself and your family, put on your big girl (or boy) witch pants and work your magick!

It’s easy for someone to say, “No, this isn’t the right way. Use light, send love, and bless him and your family.” It’s easy for someone to say that because they aren’t in your shoes.

You might ask someone for their magickal opinion on a situation because you’re uncertain about what path to take and they give you their best sage advice. You value them, trust them, always look to them for a shot of inspiration and support when the need arises. But this time their answer just doesn’t feel right to you. Usually, you might be entirely in alignment with their suggestions, but if this time it doesn’t resonate or inspire you to change the path you’ve been considering, then it isn’t the right advice for you.

At the end of the day, you need to do what is right for you and your family, not what is right for someone else. Someone’s advice to not do protection magick here and to do something that focuses on healing or sending love might be the right path for them, but not for you. And that’s okay.

You said it yourself: you’re just at the point where you want protection. If you know this in your heart, then you don’t need to ask for anyone else’s opinion.

Follow your path, not someone else’s, even if it takes you in an entirely different direction. We all walk our own paths, and sometimes they run parallel to each other. Eventually, they may veer off from one another, and may possibly meet up again down the road.

How you approach the work of protection magick is going to be determined by your ethics. I never assume what someone’s magickal or personal ethics are. For me, I believe strongly in the idea of harm none unless they are doing or intending to do harm to you or someone close to you. I also think that working the path of least resistance is best.

Always start by looking at your options and asking yourself, “What is going to be the easiest way to influence this situation?” If you know that everyone in your family is on board with the idea of being protected from him, no matter what it takes, then working on you and your family is best. You’ll all be open to doing what is needed in the mundane world so that the magickal world can do its thing. But if there are people who are going to resist, you may run into a challenge. You may need just focus on yourself, or you and those who are in agreement with you.

While you can do magick like this for someone that you might think needs it, if they don’t feel they need to be protected or they just reject the idea of magick all together, they aren’t going to be affected by the spell. So focus on those that are open.

How doing work to protect your family from someone causing them harm isn’t seen as coming from a place of love, I don’t know what is. Even if that harm is from another family member, protecting those you love is literally the definition of doing something from a place of love!

I think the reason some people may be telling you this isn’t the best action to take is that doing protection magick could produce effects that might be perceived as negative or harmful to your father.

Some people like to approach their protection magick with the hope that it will make everyone get along and live happily ever after, but that rarely ever happens in these situations. Protection magick against someone has the real possibility of that person going away for good, whether that means they move away, go to jail, just find someone else to bother, or they end up dead. There are extremes to the possible results of all magick, but this kind of magick can have many extremes and in-between outcomes. Protection magick typically has a lot of emotion and energy behind it, and that will have a lot to do with how this magick is fueled.

Since your job when doing the magick is not to focus on the “how,” you need to leave that up to the Universe to work out. You just want to stay focused on the end goal of being protected. While you could do a spell that’s a blanket protection spell, protecting you and your family against anyone or anything that could cause you harm, you have a very real and specific threat so I would say just go for what you know needs to be addressed.

Before you even start planning your spell or doing any magick, make sure you are at peace with the idea that anything is possible and the Universe will find the most accessible path it can to bringing you and your family protection. Once you’ve done that and you have clarity around your desired outcome, go for it with your whole heart and soul.

Don’t talk about your spell or your magickal plans with anyone, just do your work. Because, quite honestly, at the end of the day if you can’t use your magick to keep you and your family safe, happy, and healthy, even if that means keeping them safe against other family members, then what’s the point of using magick at all?

Want to get even more witchy?! Check out our Witchcraft Course led by our resident witch, Amy Solara.

Jess Carlson

Jess Carlson

Jess Carlson is a witch, intuitive tarot and oracle reader, writer, and magickal teacher focused on spreading the power and simplicity of magick. Known for keeping her teachings and guidance practical and approachable, Jess cuts out the woo-woo BS that can often get in the way. She uses tools like spellwork, journaling, and meditation to help people activate their inner witch. When Jess isn’t talking to the spirits and casting spells, she loves listening to gothic- and Viking-themed music, playing video games, making art, and napping with her cats. Find her at

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