Love, Sex & Sacred Union – April 2019

Your Relationship Q’s Answered by Love Activist Heather Kristian Strang

Heather Kristian Strang

ove, sex, and sacred union are a spiritual path; they are spiritual practice in action meant for your enlightenment (being filled with the light of Source).
Also, for joy. And laughter.
And sweetness and tenderness.
And for sexy times and sacred remembering.
And for the yumminess of allowing love to pulsate through your body.

It’s a new month and with it, we have new A’s to your love, sex, and sacred union Q’s!

Read on and open your heart to receive all of the nuggets that are here just for you.

Love, Sex & Sacred Union - April 2019

Q: I met a beautiful man three weeks ago who feels “home/safe” to me, we have a unique playful connection. He shares the same philosophy as I do about sex being sacred. How do we keep taking this empowered evolved relationship to the next level and know this is what our souls need/know as the next step?

A: Congratulations on magnetizing to you a partner with whom you share a deep, soulful connection! This is a beautiful experience whenever it manifests.

What is so rarely talked about in spiritual circles but which was a newsflash to me (and my clients!) is that true, lasting intimacy is something that grows, over time. In time, your relationship will grow deeper and stronger. Slow and steady, strong and true—lasting intimacy matures, develops, and deepens.

This is not something we are shown in movies or told about in many spiritual circles, but it’s the grounded, honest, gorgeous truth.

In a fantasy-laden or wound-based relationship, you meet, everything’s glorious for about three weeks to three months, and then it slowly devolves as the intense wounds and trauma come to the surface.

Because neither individual is skilled at showing up for these wounds with intention and presence, the relationship implodes and is not able to grow forward. Or, perhaps one partner is skilled at healing their wounds, but the other partner is frightened and thus a push-pull, in-and-then-out of the relationship game ensues.

Sound familiar to anyone? (I’m raising my hand really high here, who else?!)

And so, first feel the gratitude that calling in an aligned partner brings. Offer up blessings to your Spirit Team, to your Higher Power, to your Higher Self.

And then, let it grow. Slowly, maturely, steadfastly.

There needn’t be any rush to sexual intimacy, to “doing the work together,” to any of it.

Enjoy each other. Spend time together and be fully present with the other. Speak authentically, let the wounds come up organically and when they do, use your tools to be with them and not run from them.

Over time, you’ll know if this is a love that will last into the remainder of the year and into the next. And as each season of your relationship unfolds, open yourself to being transformed by this love. Allow everything the relationship brings to you to be an opening to knowing yourself more fully, to knowing the other more fully, and to co-create a life that could not be created in any other way without the two of you.

Partnership is a sacred and spiritual path. It’s a sacred container for our spiritual practice to take shape and be manifested into form. Partnership is the place where we are the microcosm of the love, peace, and prosperity that we want to co-create and see in the world. And through this commitment to Loving one another deeply we can and will positively impact the macrocosm of the collective consciousness.

So often, we want this Love to be “perfect”—except since there’s no such thing as perfect (other than know this: if it shows up for you, it’s exactly, perfectly what you need to rise UP and be your true Self), we often end up in a mish-mash of cult-ural misinformation and fantasies that are not rooted and based on the eternal truth that lives deep within every being.

And that truth says: the love is eternal.

The form the relationship takes, how long it lasts, where it goes to—that is based on your free will choices, choosing each other every day, choosing love over being “right,” choosing loving over withholding and shutting down. It’s based on your specific destiny with one another, a destiny most likely not known to anyone else other than the two of you.

So, enjoy this beautiful man and this Soulful connection that’s before you. Don’t try to mold it into anything other than your spiritual practice in action, filled with much laughter and divine truth.

And if you would like rituals to support this love and emanating it into every area of your life, get our Truth About Love Guide here.

P.S. I tend to have a different viewpoint about a partner who feels like “home” because this is often indicative of a partner who is carrying similar wounds to us and with whom we’ve shared many lifetimes. That doesn’t mean we will spend our lives with them, often we come back together so as to do what we have not been able to do before—love each other unconditionally and then let one another go in peace. And so while this feeling of home is seductive, we want to be aware of this so that when the wounds come we show up not as our reactive, wounded inner child, but as the sacred woman or man that we are and allow the deep peace and love that wishes to be made manifest through this coming together to occur. Xo


Q: I’m having a hard time letting an ex go; I didn’t get the closure my soul needed to move forward. How can I achieve this so he isn’t always on my mind? I compare all my potential dates to him. I’m so ready to move on but my heart still feels connected to his.

A: Oh yes, my dear, we feel you. Anyone who has loved another before knows the pain and heart tug of which you speak.

First though, I want to set you free on this notion of “closure.” Closure is something we can experience through our own alignment with our Higher Self and through alchemical means. So, please know that you do not need “him” or any other person for this.

In fact, I’m about to help set you free on a number of fronts—love/partnership/relating—where we make it about the other. We think we “need” them for us to be okay. We think if they could give us what we “need” we would finally have the Love we always craved.

But here’s the thing.

It’s not about them.

They are delicious. They are magnificent. They are so fun to love and to experience life with.

But you, you are your reason for being here.

You are the love that you truly desire and you have the power to give that love to you—whether or not the other can show up for you in the ways you desire.

And this, this sets you and I and all of us free to simply enjoy, appreciate, and luxuriate in the ones that are with us.

And if they go, then we know, they must have needed to go. To explore life, to expand in some way, or to do whatever it is that their soul truly needed.

Hanging on, not being able to let go of them is often about us being fearful.

Fearful of true intimacy. Fearful of a healthy, whole, deeply loving partnership.

Fearful of what would happen if we were truly met by another.

And so we hang on to what’s familiar—the pain, the longing, the despair.

It’s funny isn’t it, how those feelings can be our most comforting and most familiar even though they’re some of the worst to feel in a body?

It sadly becomes an addiction for many of us. Abandonment addiction. Pain addiction.

And so, our dearest one, we are going to share with you a radical idea—that this “not getting over” this ex-partner of yours has absolutely nothing to do with him.

That in fact you are using this one as your reason not to flourish. You are using this one as your reason not to open your heart to the greatest love of your life.

And he is long gone because your spirit, your true self, your sacred woman self, was finally ready to be born and ready to rock this life.

She’s ready to come out and experience all that the world truly has to offer her—and not wait around for life to offer it to her, but to take life by the ovaries and say, “we are DOING this thing.” Every deeply held desire within you wishes to be made manifest, including the one of creating a true partnership with a partner who can stay beside you and walk this path of life together.

In order to let this one go, you must give yourself permission to thrive. You must go into yourself and see your stories of fear of intimacy and true partnership and fear of lasting love. You must clear these wounds and then, then you will have the space you need to thrive and your ex will become a distant memory.

While there are many rituals for clearing out past partners, I would like to instead invite you into focusing on an activation of more love in your life.

Be sure to get our Truth About Love Guide and perform every single one of those rituals and activations. And just watch, just watch the love that comes into your life from this.

Thank you to everyone who courageously submitted their Q’s. If you don’t see yours here, look for it in an upcoming column—we are answering all the Q’s submitted! Have one you’d like to submit? Your identity remains confidential when you submit here.

Heather Kristian Strang

Heather Kristian Strang

Heather Kristian Strang is a bestselling author, Love Activist, and mystic. She has written seven books, including the most recent Live Like You’re On Vacation: An Oracle From The JOGs, as well as her spiritual romance The Quest series. She has written for and been featured in Bustle, Elephant Journal, Spirit Guides Magazine, Elite Daily, The Huffington Post, Sivana Spirit, Sedona Journal of Emergence, FinerMinds, The Oregonian, Portland Monthly, and the book Fierce on the Page. She is the founder of Rising UP for Love, an organization that brings more Love to the Earth plane through meditations, emotional empowerment tools, healing transmissions, and more. She is currently completing her Doctorate in Metaphysical Psychology. Learn more at and

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