adical self-love: this idea that is revolutionizing the way we interact with and treat ourselves has become one of the most written about topics in the wellness industry.
But WTF does self-love even mean? And how do you do it radically and without guilt? Does it mean a weekly bath after your favorite yoga class or spending $500 on that bag you’ve been eyeing for a year? Honestly, the best thing about self-love is that it is completely defined by YOU and what you need to feel nurtured. I’m not talking gluttony or a complete disregard for rationale. Rather, this is about asking yourself what your soul needs and joyfully giving to yourself without guilt.
If that means going to the salon every six weeks and dropping a few hundred dollars on your hair or saving that money for a big retreat, it really doesn’t matter—it’s about realizing and tending to your worthiness. Caring for yourself is literally the most important thing we can and get to do in this life.
Although we should focus on loving ourselves each and every day, Valentine’s Day is a good reminder to check in with our self-love and self-care practices. Are you making you a priority? You are the most important person in your life, so it’s time to start acting like it and stop playing small! You deserve all the love, especially from yourself. Reverse engineer the idea of “treat others the way you want to be treated” and treat yourself how you would treat others that you love dearly.
Here are five ways you can treat yo self on Valentine’s Day, Mondays, and every day for the rest of your life. You never need permission to honor your needs and there is never anything more important than what fills you with a sense of joy and feeling nurtured.
5 Ways to Treat Yo Damn Self
While this may sound like a totally, “duh,” piece of advice, you’d be surprised by how easily you can totally forego your needs and put the needs of others first. This is a reminder to consider yourself and your needs as #1 in your life. Practicing self-love is incredibly empowering and it will set you free from feeling guilty for honoring what you need. This is not to be confused with narcissism or selfishness, this is self-preservation. It’s like the flight-safety instruction: put your mask on first so you can actually stay alive to help others.
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it’s sanity.” – André Gide
You 100 percent deserve to love yourself. You are beyond worthy of the kind of love that revolutionizes how you interact with yourself. It’s all too easy to get lost in negative self-talk and worse, to start to actually believe it. We are so hard on ourselves, but we are so forgiving and gentle with others. When you accept and embrace that you are beyond worthy of your own love, you’ll also raise the bar for how others treat you. If you don’t treat yourself well, and people can easily pick up on that, then why would anyone else extend the same sentiment? R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
“In a society that profits from self-doubt, loving yourself is a rebellious act.” – Caroline Cardwell
We tell people all the time we love them. Our animals, our family, our friends, our lovers, even our coffee. When was the last time you said “I Iove you” to you? As cheesy as this sounds, looking at yourself in the mirror, deep into your own soulful eyes, and saying “I Love You” is the most cathartic and heartwarming way to express self-love. Louise Hay changed the game with this simple practice and simultaneously gave us all permission to express unconditional love to ourselves with passion. Such a simple act, this will make you smile from ear to ear and may even make your beautiful eyes leak. Try it.
“Her face still thick with sleep, her eyes sparkling with dreams, she looked in the mirror and smiled and said, ‘I Love You.” She did this everyday and everyday her heart grew.” – MG
There are friends that lift us up and friends that make us feel small. There is nothing wrong with putting some distance between the friends who just don’t seem to get you or support you or make you feel like the fucking God or Goddess that you are. Ain’t nobody got time to feel bad about themselves from the influence of another. We have enough to deal with in life. Low vibrational friends are sometimes difficult to let go of, but if you don’t feel energized and uplifted after hanging out with someone, kiss them goodbye. You don’t have to actually say you are cutting them out of your life, unless you feel that you need to for your own health and healing, but just create space around the relationship. Hang out with them less. Give them less information about what’s going on in your life. Send them love and light and energetically say you are not allowing their darkness to cloud your sunny day any longer. This is protection. Set boundaries. Clean house.
“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” – Germany Kent
There is no one other person on this planet who is you. There is something incredibly gratifying about that thought. You are one of a kind, a unique gem. Taking time to be grateful for the things that make you you is a beautiful way to uplift your spirit and expand your heart on both tough and great days alike. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself, the same you would about a significant other. You don’t have to show to this anyone and you can flush it down the toilet when you’re done, but just do it. Your laugh, your drive, your hugs, your ability to make others feel loved … write it all down. Fall in love with yourself cuz you’re fucking badass, and why not?!
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” – Robert Morley
You got this, boo. There is no better time to start working on your relationship with yourself than today. It is work, because unworthiness is so drilled in to most of our heads, that’s no lie. But what in life isn’t work? You work on all the other relationships in your life, so I encourage you to start doing the work on your most important relationship. You can even think about it as being able to love others more and give more if you love yourself more.
You are #1. You are badass. You are beautiful. You are super fucking cool and funny and special. Love yo self!