Tarot Decoded

What does it mean when you keep pulling The Lovers card?

BY Alice B Grist


o you keep pulling The Lovers card? In my 25 years experience, this card is the one that most people secretly wish to find amongst their spreads. Though our fantasy of The Lovers card and the reality of it, just like real life with real love, are not always compatible. It is, in fact, one of the more challenging cards of the deck, precisely because what we hope for, and what we get, are rarely the same.

We all have an idea of ‘perfect love’ but often that is left in the dust as real, chaotic life takes hold. Here is the crux, moving past the Disney Princess fantasy of perfect ‘happy ever afters’ and towards something real, gritty, and true to our lives. When you repeatedly pull The Lovers you are being asked to shift your perception of what love is, what you expect of it, what you can tolerate, what you deserve, what you might learn from love and heartache, and then move the goals of what you hope for.

The Lovers

Image from Cosmic Mother Tarot by Alice Grist

Consider this: What do you really, truly hope for in love? What have you experienced so far in your love life? Can you make these meet in the middle a little?

And then there is this: Romantic love won’t ever make you happy. Like any external thing that we pin our hopes on, the true recipe to love, to happiness, lays within. And whatever we project to the world is a waste of time unless it is genuine and unique to us. So no lover, no love, will ever make much sense until we become true to our inner reality. Until we learn to love ourselves and the place we are already in. A cliche, but an important one!

If you are pulling The Lovers card again and again, there is whole world of self discovery asking to be heard, felt, and experienced. In undertaking to love and know yourself, you shift the power of the ‘lovers’ back to you, and in turn, create a healthy happy basis for your relationships now and in the future.

Alice B Grist

Alice B Grist

Alice B Grist is the author of Dirty & Divine: a transformative journey through tarot (Womancraft Publishing). Available online and in any good retailer. Order Alice’s Cosmic Mother set of cards, designed and painted by Alice at AliceGrist.co.uk.

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